I’m shedding :(

A fellow blogging mama recently shared her experience of post-partum hair loss, or shedding, and it struck a chord. I realised I never shared my shedding story previously, maybe because it meant admitting to myself it was happening, maybe it was embarrassment, but it might have just been lack of time then totally forgetting (I had a newborn remember!)

This picture doesn’t even begin to represent the amount of shedding I’ve experienced over the past few months. It started slowly, but there were days when I was scared to touch my head out of fear I’d just be touching scalp.  My hairline is the worst – it seems to have receded at an alarming rate. Boy2 is 18 months and I’m still losing hair!

But in 9 or so months of shedding I have realised:

  • shedding is very common. Lots of women experience it post-partum, to different degrees
  • we shouldn’t be ashamed to share it. Sharing is caring afterall and just hearing about other people’s struggles, can make you feel a bit better
  • in most cases, other people won’t notice the loss half as much as  you expect them too. Even the hubster only really notices it by the random hairs  on the bathroom floor. I’m sure he thinks I’m hiding some afro-wearing dog in the house
  • I can get quite creative with my hair if I’m feeling a bit self conscious

I’m hoping this is just a temporary thing. My hair will eventually grow back and I’ll have a hairline again. But in the meantime its another change for me to get used to. Learning about my new hair (or lack of) and getting to grips with new products to help it grow.

Please let me know if you have experienced hair loss and how you are getting on!

X

PS – to all afro-mamas. I’m trying a combo of shea butter and castor oil for my edges and trying to up my water intake. Lets see how I get on

 

 

 

Baby + Junk Food = OK right? 

This is our current food situation. It’s been a long day. He loves chips. He loves peas. He loves fish fingers. He can eat the same meal as his brother. So why do I feel the slightest bit of guilt?

 I don’t think Boy 1 had this classic combo til at least 18 months. Yet Boy2 is probably on his 3rd (ish) round. But it was all cooked in the oven and I didn’t give him ketchup! 

No harm in it every now and then. After all, happy baby = happy mummy and all that….

Body talk…

This week, with no intentional searching, I stumbled upon countless stories and images of the ‘post baby body’ (PBB). Chrissy Teigen, Sam Faiers, Anne Hathaway and even Rebecca Adlington have all been in the papers for that very topic. Some were ‘showing off’ their ‘toned’ ‘slender’, ‘sexy’ PBBs, whilst Rebecca was talking about how she’s embraced her ‘kangaroo’ body.

Great. Good for all of them. But I have one favour to ask my journalist friends. STOP! Please stop the continual obsession with mothers’ bodies. Yes, some women snap back straight away. Some take a few months or years. Some never regain the body they once had. Why make it news?

Yes, I know some of these celebs make money from their bodies (in a respectful way), so have to make sure they are slim again. Plus it gives them a reason to talk to magazines and get paid whilst they wait for their next ‘job’.

But there’s just no need to make it headline, or in some cases, front page news. As women we spend so much of our lives being bombarded with images, stories and ‘advice’ on achieving the perfect body, can’t we just get a break during this special and oh so precious time?! We have so many other things to worry about, this body pressure isn’t necessary.

Don’t get me wrong, I am conscious of my body more so than I was pre-children. I try to squeeze in some excercise every now and then and do keep a watchful eye on the latest health tips in the hope that I’ll one day squeeze back into my favourite dress. But it’s my choice to. Now that I’ve made it through the confusing, foggy state of caring for a newborn, I can think about who I was and who I want to be – and that includes my appearance. But when you’ve forgotten what a good night’s sleep feels like, smell of puke and feel like you need cake/chocolate/biscuits just to get through the day, the last thing you need is to be reminded of how you compare to other women’s squishiness or wasboard stomachness (I’ve created a new word).

Whether a new mum is back in her size 8s or ballooned to an 18, just leave them be. Her health and happiness and that of her newborn are far more important. It’s not fair to talk about it at a time when many of us are probably quite emotionally fragile anyway.

Yes, we could ‘praise’ Ms Adlington for ’embracing’ her new tummy, but by making a story of it, we are making more people conscious of it. Not just mothers, but everyone who comes into contact with a new mother. Just think how often you hear people mentioning how good someone looks ‘considering she just gave birth’. Its another way of pitting mothers against each other.

If you want to stuff you face with cake whilst baby naps, do it. If you want to work out, do it. Just do it for you and your happiness. Not to keep up with someone else. I’m sure you have enough on your plate.

Why don’t we focus on the beautiful wonder that is the newborn baby and the journey ahead of raising that child.

Post baby bodies don’t need to be part of the conversation.

So please, just stop.

X