Manchester: Keep on buzzin’

It’s been 48 hours since my beautiful city was attached. 48 hours since 22 lives were taken. 48 hours since many more lives were impacted in ways we’ll never really be able to measure. 

I’m broken hearted. 

I can’t find the words to express how I feel. Shocked, saddened, scared, angry, confused. But what I can say is that I’m proud that the city I love; the city I call home has not been broken. 

I worry for my oldest child and what he’s thinking about, what he’s saying or hearing in the playground and if I can really reassure him that things will be ok. 

I want to wrap them both in cotton wool and squeeze them for years, protecting them from this horrible, horrible world. 

But I’m his mother, his Mancunian mother. And because of this I must keep on going. I must embody the spirit of our Manchester bee and be proactive, industrious and collaborative. I must, as we say,  keep on buzzin’. 

Mothers unite for fish fingers. Seriously…

So any fan of so called ‘instamums’ would no doubt have seen or heard about an article that appeared today in a certain national newspaper. I’m not going to link to it but it starts with Daily and rhymes with ‘Fail’.

The ‘article’ basically slammed some of my favourite mama bloggers and authors, Clemmie Telford, Hurrah for Gin, Don’t Buy Her Flowers, The Unmumsy Mum and The Scummy Mummies, describing their work as “a race to the bottom to prove yourself the worst mother ever…” where “women compete to seem incapable of caring for their children’s basic needs.” Yes it was total B.S.

No sooner had this article appear did the most mumtastic of backlashes begin. Every mother, in fact, every parent who relates to these women’s accounts stood up in solidarity against some pretty shoddy journalism.

These women are just a handful of mothers using their creative, intelligent minds and the power of the internet to connect women at what can be the loneliest and most confusing time for many. They are shattering the romanticised facade of perfect parenting. They admit to feeding their kids fish fingers and surviving a soft play centre with a hangover. They are helping us to realise that sometimes motherhood is a bit shit. But its ok, because we all go through it.

They are honest, self deprecating, funny, sometimes controversial, but always honest. What this article failed to gather from all of the sarcasm was that these women LOVE their children.

And the parents of the world love them for it. Seeing so many other women standing in #solidaritea against this article has been really refreshing.

If you ever thought the sisterhood was dead, today it has truly been awoken. And if anything, this article has helped to raise their profile even more (which sounds like a reason to crack open a bottle if you ask me!)

So thank you ladies. Keep doing what you’re doing.

And as I said on my Instagram post: People who don’t like fish fingers can’t be trusted. FACT

x

 

Breaking the News to a child

Last week, I was interviewed by a journalist for the Telegraph who wanted to know how I explained and answered difficult questions about current affairs to Boy1.

Its a really interesting issue because I’ve always wanted to make sure I don’t overprotect my children from the big wide world. In fact its my responsibility as a parent to teach them about ‘real life‘, but at the same time, I have to filter and edit to a level that’s comfortable for them, and me (to be totally honest).

We have the news on every morning, as I always tell him its important to know what is going on in the world around us, but I guess that world has always seemed quite distant from him and nothing to worry about.

So when, out of the blue, Boy 1 asked me about the Westminster attacks a few weeks ago (just before I headed to London), it took me by surprise. I had to try my best not to use the word ‘terrorism’ as I knew this might scare him even more. Instead I described this very angry man that wanted express his anger and unfortunately some people died because of him. But with any ‘deep’ conversation I have with him, I try to end on the positive, so explained that the police were on the case, keeping us all safe. Because, for a child, that’s the most important thing. They need to have confidence and optimism and it’s our job to maintain that view for them. 

When he asked my why Donald Trump had won the election if he’s such a mean man, that says horrible things about women and Mexicans, I had to explain that sometimes not everyone agrees with each other. That’s how democracy works.

I’ve found that in these situations its beneficial to put things in a context a child can related too, without over-simplifying the situation.Whether that’s through the importance of talking and compromising or helping those in need, it helps to put their mind at ease.

Through the interview I realised that whilst I try to be honest, I will still try to change the conversation in certain situations. Seeing injured bodies of innocent children that could the same age as his brother, or hearing about young people being attacked by their family members – he doesn’t need to hear that, not just yet.

But in a world of hyperbole and click-bait driven content, where youngsters have easy access to media, the challenge for us as parents is to ensure they are enlightened, not exposed. Educated, not excluded from the world they live in. We use this an opportunity to build strong citizens of the world.

Then, as in most cases, after about 5 minutes they’ll turn to you and ask ‘what’s for dinner?’.

X

PS – if you are really struggling for words to explain the news, I’d highly recommend a subscription to The Week Junior. Boy 1 loves it!

 

I’ve dropped the balls!

You might have noticed I haven’t posted for a while. I’ve tried. I have about 5 drafts started and saved, but unfinished. If you ever read my piece about work life ‘balance’, you’ll know what I mean when I say I’ve dropped my balls!

Work has been busy, an expand role, lots of travel. Kids have been busy, matches, performance, tests. I haven’t exercised. I’ve eaten crap because of the stress, which has made me tired and therefore less motivated to go to the gym. Hubster had an injury rendering him unable to even pick up a toddler to put him to bed. Then once he was better, he had to travel for work, leaving me in charge of the tribe.

It’s been a tiring, calorie-laden, vicious circle. Then today was the tip of the iceberg. Rush home to cook dinner, a lovely herby buttered cod with new potatoes and steamed veg (yes, on a Wednesday!) and what do a do…. knock it over and smash it on the floor. Butter, cod and shards of glass everywhere!!

Fast forward to 6:45 and my children are sat on the living room floor eating fish & chips and some leftover sweetcorn. Total. Parenting. Fail. Balls totally dropped. Tears filling up and a feeling I have totally let everyone down. SO much so that in the rush to get them a replacement meal, I didn’t actually buy anything for myself!

But tomorrow is a new day. I’ll slowly but surely try to pick the balls back up, so nothing or nobody goes ignored. One more working day tomorrow, then I’m putting down the laptop to enjoy a fun day with my gang. It will no doubt involve more calories, but it will be quality time.

Sometimes, when things get hectic, you just have to pause, take a breath and remind yourself why you are doing this. Then I’ll gradually work out which balls to pick up when and which to start throwing.

Bring on the weekend. And the balls!

 

Donald Trump, Thank You!

Hard to believe, but I’m finding the positives in the arrival of the Trump

Donald,

21 days since you became president and I want to thank you.

Thank you for reminding us that we still have so much work to do to remove ignorance and intolerance from this world.

Thank you for teaching my children that if you judge and speak badly of someone because of their gender, sexuality, religion or ethnicity, everyone will stand up against it to prove you wrong, no matter how powerful you might be.

Thank you for teaching them that complacency is as disruptive as extremism. We will no longer take a good, or great, situation for granted.

Thank you for showing my children that if they disrespect women, they are disrespecting mothers, sisters, daughters and wives everywhere.

Thank you for shining a light on just how gullible and lazy we have become in our consumption of media. We will no longer click and share ‘news’ without verifying facts and sources.

Thank you for showing us just how many people are disenfranchised, disillusioned and discouraged from politics.

But most of all I want to thank you for bringing us together. For helping us to unite, regardless of race, religion, gender or even location. You are spurring us to build bridges, when there are threats of walls. Without you, so many of us would not be standing up to make our voices heard.

Donald, on behalf of everyone who believes in tolerance, freedom and fairness, I thank you.

Goodbye 2016

So another year has gone by. It’s certainly been a year of mixed emotions, without a doubt. I know most people will be glad to see the back of 2016, but hey, if you’re reading this post, you’ve made it through the year. Isn’t that something to be thankful for? 

So in my bid to start the year with a positive mindset I’ve decided to list some of the good things I’ve experienced or learned over the past year. 

  • Family time is important – ok I knew this before 2016 but going back to work and having busy family schedules, really brought this home
  • I’ve learned not to feel guilty about personal time – reading a book, going for a swim, or even a night away can be a good thing! Switching off from the above mentioned schedules every now and then, is good for you. In fact, it’s good for everyone.
  • I can’t lose out by embracing opportunities and invitations. I got a real boost from taking on a speaking opportunity and doing a charity 10k walk. Both things I wouldn’t have dreamed of a year ago, but the feeling of accomplishment and the things that followed were great. Say ‘yes’more! 
  • I appeared on a daytime tv quiz show!! Ok I kept it quiet (I didn’t win) but given that it was something I’d wanted to do for years, I decided to go for it at the end of mat leave. I really shouldn’t have left it so long! 
  • I got a promotion! I’ll probably post more about this at some point, but it was a great way to end the year, knowing my first back at work had been a success 

In spite of all the random bad stuff that’s happened, this year has been kind of alright. At the end of the day, if you’re still here to read my little old blog, then that’s something. Plenty of people didn’t make it this far. 

Happy new year. Bring on 2017